Give this album your ears: week 2

Built to Spill - Ultimate Alternative Wavers

This album defines college rock for me. It takes what I like about other college rocks bands (Hockey night, menomena, pavement, and even the pixies to some extent) and put them into an awesome collection of songs. One of my favorite things about the album is that you can almost feel like you're watching them in a recording studio jamming. The all are restless to not be doing something, whether it's making funky noises or changing the tempo. Each song progressives as they play it, and I love that. They also have three guitarists. Like, I don't know what it is about bands that have multiple guitarist who change from rhythm to lead and back, but if they can do it fluidly, then I'm just really impressed.
Then the lyrics got to me after listening to it enough, with the main one i'd pay attention to is built to spill. It kinda just makes it okay to be the way you are: "this is how you'll always feel, it's no big deal." Then, the last song is a three part instrumental spanning a rockus nine and a half minutes.

Everyone around here, everyone is so near.

Today was kind of strange, in a totally not strange way. I got up at one and walked to school at 2:40 and it was just beautiful out. It still is, but it was so nice out, I can't believe I slept in and missed part of such a hot day. I got to campus and people were just everywhere. All over the sidewalks, sitting on most every bench, and covering the mall's main grassy area. Everyone was with their group, but at the same time everyone was together. It's something you just have to know what I mean, and if you goto Morris, you just know. It's what makes us work when we're in the middle of nowhere. (Lots of double yous in that centence.)
And people were playing frisbee, reading, sunbathing, playing music, sleeping, and, like me, listening to music. I talked to Colin S. for a while about things, which I don't do enough for sure, especially since we're living together next year. But we talked about how Morris might actually be tolerable during the spring and summer seasons. The wind during the winter just makes things colder and more miserable, but on a day when it's 80 out, it makes it wonderful. It makes frisbee hard to play and fun to watch though. But I will be enjoying the city during those times and going back to Morris will be cold again, but that's okay. That's part of living here, and I like it.
I was thinking about how we put up with such miserableness for most of the year, and I think it's just what we do. I don't know why, but we just do it. I always thought it made us enjoy the good days and appreciate the warm days. I also think midwesterners are very good at keeping fronts. We do it to the cold weather so much, we start to do it to people too. There is a lyric from a best friends forever song that goes:
"I'm a good example of a Minnesotan. I'm fine, fine, fine, but I'm always overloaded. I hate to inconvenience anyone that's nice. So instead I sacrifice myself"
Does that not fit, at least a small part, how each of us is. I passed a friend today and said hi and he responded with "how are you?". I said good and we walked in our separate directions. I am good, but I would say the same thing if I wasn't either. I know, cause that's what I did. "How are you?" is not, in my opinion, the same as a hello or hi. It leaves me feeling bad if I don't ask them it back, but we're usually too far away at that point. If we look at is as a rhetorical question and not expecting a truthful answer, then it does fit I guess. But I feel that that is silly.
It makes me think about how much of our psychology is influenced by where we live. I'd say there is a connection with the cold climate and how we hid inside, from the cold and from people.

So may the sunrise bring hope Where it once was forgotten.

Same thing as a facebook album I created. Meghan and I went to see the sunrise and found a cool spot outside of Starbuck.

Can nothing more be done?

Sometimes I feel like I have no ability to change things. I have accepted that I cannot change how life works the way it does, the way things fall into place and fit together. But this week has changed my current view of this idea. I feel empowered. I feel like I have an influence. I see no reason that the weather was amazing today for any other reason than because I was in a good mood. Did the weather make my mood good or did my mood change the weather?
If I take it as I am influenced by life and everything and anything, and I am the result of the total collisions of these things, then I am lost again. And that is what I usually get to after I feel happy. But this time something has changed.
Before, when I was happy, I would wait for something bad to happen in the most fitting and perfect way it could. And it always did, or I always saw it as such. Today, I was in control of how I got from one place to the next, and not the world. I chose to got outside and play frisbee, then leave to go shave, then to e-mail my homework to my teacher, and then to go into the HFA to practice my vocals, then to go to the radio station. These were my choices I feel. I felt the forks in the road that I could choose paths from, and I followed the path I followed. Instead of biking in straight lines to Coborns, I went through alleys and parking lots, I went where I wanted.
I know this is all very introspective and means more to me than I can easily explain, but I just wanted to say it anyways.

Twenty Minute Post

Okay, so, here's the beef: I have had a floppy semester, ranging form doing homework and being on top of classes to really the complete opposite. But, there are only three weeks left. Three weeks. I have a lot of stuff to do, and so I kinda ran away from it all on thursday and I just kinda hid myself from school and was social(kinda). But I am going to be a food student the next three weeks. And I know I say that a lot, like every week if not every day, but this time i mean it. I need to to pass classes. And it won't be that hard with the right motivation, such as calling my parents, getting hugs, eating right and getting sleep. Today was wonderful. I got 8 hours of sleep and woke up at 8 and ate breakfast (3 bowls of captain crunch berries) and then went to class. Then I went grocery shopping and ate a sandwich and made an extra for later. Went to more class and then I worked on homework for 4.5 hours. Then I took a break and hung out with Lauren for a bit and went home. I was going to do work here, but windows, in the few weeks I've had it, was partially taken over by malware. Every time I opened a link from google it redirected me to spam. And it blocked common anti malware and spyware program's sites. Eventually safe mode let me down load combofix and that saved me. Anyways, I had a few hours of a break and it felt completely deserved. It was great.
And I've made a calendar for the week and it is all completely doable before the weekend when I'm going home for a concert. My parents will be visiting Jessica so I will miss them sadly, but they might take a trip up to Morris the next weekend. And that makes me extremely happy, I haven't seen them since spring break and I can feel it every time I talk to them. But even with planning everything out, I feel really good about this week. Like, really good. And if today was proof of my abilities, then the next few weeks should be a doable fo sho.
Hm, I have ten more minutes before it's 2 and I will goto sleep.
I went to a cloud cult concert on Thursday and it was amazing. I always knew of cloud cult and liked them for being local and making it big(ish), but I never really listened to their music. But after seeing them live, it's my main course right now. I just eat them up. Here's lyrics that played as I wrote that:
"I've had enough of hiding underneath my covers. I'm done with all that poop that brings me down, down, down. Don't bring me down, down, down.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I will laugh my way through the hurricanes and fire. That's why you don't wanna bring me down. That's why you don't wanna bring me down."
That's pretty motivating, and I guess that's why I found it now. But anyways, back to the show (5 minutes to go). The opener was caroline smith and the goodnight sleeps, another good local band. Then cloud cult sets up their stuff, and oh do they have stuff. 5 members playing cello, viola, guitar/vocals, bass/keyboard, drums. Plus there are two people painting during the show. Like, they just start painting and they sell the art at the end of the show. Brilliant. They were such a great show overall, with such great stage presence, making you feel involved for sure. I'd recommend listening to feel good ghosts, as that is what I'm getting the most out of at the moment.
But I probably won't be posting too much, as has been the case. I'm sorry, but I'll try to keep up occasional posts, there will be one or two this weekend, as I will be home and end up in a coffee shop somewhere.
But alas, my time is up. Night everybody!

Give this album your ears: week 1

In light of Meghan talking about wanting someone to make her a perfect mix for every week, I will (hopefully) be listing one album a week that I think fits the week. It may not fit your week, but I think it is worth giving it a true listen to.

So, to start it off, this week is In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, by Neutral Milk Hotel.

This album was written after Jeff Magnum read the diary of Anne Frank. It is a wonderful album for many reasons, but I think it fits this week because it is a very appreciative album.

I would go into more detail, but I don't want to put my interpretation over it before you listen to it. Feel free to comment about what you think, and I'll tell you what I think back. Also, if you don't have it, let me know and I'll try and get it to you somehow.

Moving your mouth to pull out all your miracles, for me.

Motivation is something I am currently lacking in, maybe not motivation but whatever that "thing" is that I am missing, I'm missing it. There is a Panda Bear song that has the lyrics "take one day at a time, anything else you can leave behind. Only one thing at a time, everything else really hurts your mind." And that is what I feel like right now, I need to start small and focus on one thing at a time. And yesterday, when I was feeling that I couldn't even do one thing at a time, I panicked. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes and I just don't know what to do.
"It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me."
That's a quote from the perks of being a wallflower. I know it may not be everyone's favorite book in the world. But it's mine, and not because I'm reading it right now, but because of the connection I have with it. If you were me and you read it, it'd make sense. Yesterday was a day like in the quote, I just saw nothing. The thing is, the day was like that and then I read that passage and it all clicked and fell apart in one fell swoosh. The weight of the day and everything fell at once and I freaked out. Of course it was during Nick Champeau's guitar recital so I couldn't say anything and had to sit there and freak out on my own, but for some reason, his guitar playing was the perfect thing to panic to. I couldn't have imagined any better music or situation to panic to.
But the book has been doing this too me since I started it last week. It hits me in the heart like a train and just forces emotion out of me. A year or two ago, about the time I read it, the emotions were there, but they didn't come out. And now, it's not that I'm holding them in or forcing them or anything, they just flow so easily. I knew I loved the book when I first read it, but I don't think I knew why I did. And now I do and it is messing with me a lot. I feel like I should be used to this, things working out perfectly and all, but I have to admit I'm still surprised. This book couldn't have gotten back to me at a better time. And I couldn't have appreciated it as much at any other point in my life than I do right now. Maybe next time I read it it will connect differently, but right now, right at this point, this is what I need. And I feel like I'm lucky to have the people, the music, and the books that I need right now.